"For A Few Dullards More:" An Ode to the Enrollment Shortfall

The Supe of Schools made this report:
"We seem to be some students short.
I'd trouble not this to relate,
'Cept, we'll get less dough from the state.

"Don't just sit scoffin' and sillyin',
This could cost us three-four million.
We've hunted high, we've hunted low,
Where did those little dickens go?

"We've searched with thimble and with fork;
We found no snark, we found no stork.
We've looked in cupboards, behind sheds.
Are they home with flu, in their beds?

"We'll place an ad in 'Lost and Found,'
Follow their scent with trusty hound,
Watch for the track of Doc Martens,
Put their pictures on milk cartons.

"This is tragic, a disaster,
We need magic from some master."
For years this town's had a dilly,
Its manager, John Jalili.

With shining pate and smile benign,
He gave comfort that all was fine.
But now he has pack'd up his wand,
His crystal ball, for farewell fond.

On retirement all wish him well.
Yet, who will come, I pray you tell,
To save us from civil danger?
Where's our enigmatic stranger?

If no such savior comes, I fear,
Problems will mount up unsolv'd here.
The kids may just be off kissing,
It's far worse grown-ups are missing.

Sciaticus (copyright 1999 A.D.).